Top 10 Most Common Annoying Status Updates - 2011
In the past year, on Facebook, were you a cheesehead who had to rave about your team's big win, an avid follower of world news, or a pop culture junkie whose updates revolved around royal weddings and celebrity train wrecks? If any of those rang a bell, you're in company with millions who posted about similar events.
Amongst your friends' Facebook status updates this past year you probably saw major events interspersed amid anecdotes about their kids, and at the top of the 2011 global topics were the death of Osama bin Laden, the Green Bay Packers Super Bowl victory and the Casey Anthony verdict.
The death of bin Laden shot to the top of the talkers on Facebook on May 1, when "almost 10 percent of all status updates in English mentioned news of his death."
As for memes, the hands-down winner in 2011, at least on Facebook, was planking.
And as for those three letter acronyms, the top 2011 ones were "lms" (like my status) and "tbh" (to be honest), with "the most iconic status update" for the year was a mash-up of the two: "lms for a tbh."
10. The Passive Aggressor
Isn’t it fun seeing someone take their psychological dismay out on Facebook? The passive-aggressive types think it’s a great idea posting a little dig on Facebook. But what’s funny is them actually thinking the object of that aggression is going to read it. Nope. *womp womp*
9. TMI – Too Much Information
Oh, yes… the status updates about one’s gynecological problems, financial troubles, husband’s baby mama drama, bad debts, and the like are probably TMI even for your closest friends. No really, it’s true. Your co-workers really want to know about your irregular bowel movements.
8. The Braggers
Okay, so you’ve scored a date with Bruno Mars, need to buy new jeans because your size 0’s are “too loose,” ate at the most exclusive restaurant downtown, blah-blah-blah. But no, don’’t get me wrong… I love that you are having a great time in Hawaii but I also didn’t ask for an hourly status report. Yeah, good for you. Whoopee.
7. The Annoying Teaser
Posting something ambiguous like, “Guess what just happened!” is kind of like asking which hand the rubber ball is in behind your back. A little childish, a little fun – but still annoying on the side of desperate. Oop, yeah! We said it!
6. One word update
Tired. Hungry. Bored. Yeah. We. Get. It…*yawn*
5. The Incomplete Thought
“So, wait, are you asking, telling, saying – what’s really going on here? Was there a typo? Don’t get it. So wait, what?”
4. Mr. Marketer
“I can’t believe my ex was checking out my page! Download FBProfileSPY NOW” or “Click here to see Osama Bin Laden Murder Hi-Def – HQ” and how about “OMG! I love my new Ipad 2. I got it FREE by clicking this link – that’s it! This is totally not a scam!” …we see it all the time. Sooooo annoying I just want to punch my friends in the face when I see them and worse if I don’t even really know these people! Mofo’s clogging up my wall! You ARE the weakest link, GOODBYE! *block*
3. Story Status Updates
For those who like to recap you on every detail you’ve missed while offline. These are exhausting. It’s the friend who just purchased her new computer. But wait, now the manual is missing. OK! Neat, found the manual! Just powered it up, wondering how to upload new software? Just uploaded new software, yay for Microsoft Word! Hey, does anyone know where to find the product registration key? -_____- Honestly – no one cares.
2. Depressed Bi-Polar Emo Cunt Status
I’m actually writing a paper on this as an actual medical condition. But seriously, maybe it’s just because I HATE whiners but I can’t stand people who never seem to be satisfied with anything. Those who ALWAYS have something to complain about. I understand the need to vent occasionally but why must every post have to be so damn pathetic, obviously crying out for sympathy and “pity likes”. Ugh, disgusting ;-x
1. The Relationship-Hopper
Chris is in a relationship.
Chris is in a relationship and it’s complicated.
Chris is engaged.
Chris is married.
Chris is widowed.
Chris is in an open relationship.
Chris is f*cking annoying… what the hell is that about, all happening in the same week. Like, really? Don’t make me block your @ss ‘cause you KNOW I will.
*Bonus* The desperate mofo’s that purposely re-list themselves as single to call out attention to the fact that they are available. Never mind the half naked pictures or horny status updates… just a conincidence. No, really!
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